


Never Want To Lose You

by ZestyMordant



Category: Trailer Park Boys
Genre: Angst and Fluff, Dom/sub Undertones, Established Relationship, Feelings, Hand Jobs, Jail, Jealousy, M/M, Mild Smut, Ricky is jealous but doesn't know, Romance, Set in Countdown to Liquor Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:41:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29300556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZestyMordant/pseuds/ZestyMordant
Summary: The padded noise of footsteps echoing off the concrete floor filled the jail cell. Ricky twisted his fist into the itchy small blanket, pulling it closer to him. He wanted to curl up and disappear. Today had been absolute shit. Barely out of jail for a week and he was already back in staring at the cement walls again.Julian and his big fuckin plans, fuckin' Julian. Ricky could still see a drunken Lahey throwing himself over Julian in the bank after Julian declared his love for him. Ricky pulled the blanket tighter, pissed off now. He didn’t know what the feeling in his heart was he just knew he was pissed at Julian and it was all his fault and Laheys' that they were in jail.
Relationships: Julian/Ricky (Trailer Park Boys)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So i found this draft in my old google docs and I thought I'd share it!
> 
> timeline is Countdown to Liquor Day. 
> 
> title as always is from a Helix song.
> 
> TW for suicide (Lahey threatens it, it doesn't actually happen as along with the movie) 
> 
> enjoy!

_"I fucking love you too, Jim. All right? Let's talk about this back at the park."_

_Ricky stopped, eyes going wide, staring at Julian. Julian was fucking with Lahey...Right?_

_“What did you say?” Lahey asked._

_“Let's talk about this back at the park.” Julian rushed trying to get Lahey out of there._

_“No, before that.”_

_“Yeah, the other thing?” Ricky interjected._

_Julian glanced back at Ricky before looking back at Jim. "What? I fucking love you."_

_"Yeah," Lahey nodded placing a palm against Julian's cheek, "I knew it all along." he said before drunkenly giggling over towards Bubbles._

_Julian turned, catching the hurt look on Ricky's face. Great, he didn’t want to deal with this Lahey shit but an upset Ricky on top of everything else would be even worse. He started walking towards the exit fully aware of how many people were watching them in the bank. Better to get the fuck out of there and deal with Lahey and the 'I love you shit' back at the park._

_Julian felt a hand grip onto his duct tape 'bulletproof' vest, twisting him around so he was facing Ricky._

_Ricky growled at him “There's a lot of fucking rumours going on around the park, about you loving Randy, dating Randy, and you loving Lahey-"_

_Julian could practically feel the sparks flying around in Ricky's brain. “What are you talking about?” Julian cut in._

_“_ - _and now you're saying you love him!” Ricky said confused and upset, weird feeling in his stomach._

_“Ricky, I just said that to him so we could get the fuck out of here!”_

_Ricky nodded staring into Julian's eyes trying to see if he was lying. “Okay, let's get out of here then.”_

_"Okay”, Julian repeated “Now stay calm!”_

_They both turned towards Bubbles and Lahey, Lahey's voice breaking “I heard that Julian... I heard that” he turned drunkenly running towards the elevator._

_"You didn't' think he actually loved you, did you?" Ricky called out after him._

_The boys slowly made their way out of the bank, only to find Lahey on the roof threatening to jump off the roof_

_“Julian, if he jumps, that's going to be on your head." Bubbles said._

_Ricky looked up at Lahey, he didn’t understand the weird feeling in his stomach he had going on but he didn't want Julian anywhere near Lahey. “He’s not gonna jump, he's fine, he's looking for attention, we’re millionaires now. We don’t go up and fucking save drunk lunatics from roofs!"_

_“Guys, guys! He’s gonna jump!” Randy said._

_Ricky was ready to shove everybody in the van and drive away himself._

_Julian took a sip from his drink “I'm gonna go up there to talk to him, you guys wait in the van for four minutes, if I'm not back in four minutes, you guys head back to Sunnyvale. I'll meet you there.”_

_Ricky looked at Bubbles bewildered, why in the fuck would Julian go back up there? Unless...“Are you fuckin kidding me? You really are in love with him!”_

_Julian stopped, “I'm not fucking in love with him!” he ground out before running back up the bank steps._

_“This is unbelievable! I hope you’re fucking happy about this!” Ricky shouted up at the roof towards Lahey._

_Randy and Bubbles looked at Ricky. He shooed them in the van “Get the fuck in the van.” “Ricky..” Bubbles started._

_“Get in the van!”_

_Ricky drummed his fingers along the steering wheel, peering up at the roof. “What in the fuck is taking him so long?”_

_Bubbles smoothed a piece of tape over his ‘bulletproof’ vest “it's a delicate situation Ricky, Lahey might jump off the roof, he has to calm him down.”_

_“Yeah! I want Mr. Lahey in one piece, Ricky!” Randy piped up from the back._

_Ricky leaned out the window “Hurry the fuck up, we've got two minutes!” he shouted._

_He turned in his seat to look back at Randy. “Want Lahey in one piece? What about all this shit about you and Julian?”_

_“Me and Julian? Ricky what the fuck are you talking about?”_

_Ricky wanted to squeeze Randy's gut until it popped .“What the fuck am I talking about? How about the fact that everyone in the park is saying that you two are fuckin' dating!”_

_Bubbles looked expectantly at Randy, waiting for an explanation._

_“Oh, I just said that to Mr. Lahey so he would be jealous.” Randy said scratching the back of his head looking down at the van floor._

_“Jealous?” Ricky echoed._

_“Yeah, jealous alright? I know it's low but I wanted Lahey to care more about me than he does the liquor.”_

_“Oh..” Ricky looked out the window silently. Jealous? Was that this weird feeling floating inside him right now? He wished Julian would hurry the fuck up so they could get out of there and back to the trailer park where Julian could explain things. Julian always had a way of explaining it so Ricky could understand. Sometimes Ricky was afraid that Julian would tire of the over-explaining and Ricky being dumb and leave him. Was this one of these moments where he didn't get it? Why would Julian tell Lahey he loved him, what if it wasn't to get Lahey back to the park, what if it was it to make Lahey jealous?_

_“What is he doing?” Ricky checked his watch._

_“What the fuck boys, just... Go” Bubbles pleaded._

_As if on cue Julian and a drunk Lahey stumbled out of the bank. Ricked sighed impatiently, watching as Lahey manhandled Julian “Julian, I got something in my underwear for you to see bud.”_

_“What?” Julian asked confusedly._

_Lahey reached into his pants pulling out an old folded yellow piece of paper “it's a contract and you're gonna sign it before you go anywhere” Lahey pressed his body against Julians' frame._

_That weird feeling flared up in Ricky again, he was already firing open the van door. “Randy get over here and deal with this shit!” He pulled Lahey away from Julian "We don't have time for underwear contracts. We need to leave!"_

_Randy came around from the back of the van getting ready to settle the situation, unfortunately, the real security van pulled up before Randy could get out a word, and all hell broke loose._

⧪⧪⧪

  
The padded noise of footsteps echoing off the concrete floor filled the jail cell. Ricky twisted his fist into the itchy small blanket, pulling it closer to him. He wanted to curl up and disappear. Today had been absolute shit. Barely out of jail for a week and he was already back in staring at the cement walls again.  
  
Julian and his big fuckin plans, fuckin' Julian. Ricky could still see a drunken Lahey throwing himself over Julian in the bank after Julian declared his love for him. Ricky pulled the blanket tighter, pissed off now. He didn’t know what the feeling in his heart was he just knew he was pissed at Julian and it was all his fault and Laheys' that they were in jail. 

Lucikly for them the arresting officer had been intoxicated while performing the arrest, which meant they’d only be in there give or take two weeks. Usually, Ricky would have partied his ass off in jail, especially since Bubs was in with them. In fact, there was a party going on in cellblock B but Ricky chose to ignore it, not wanting to deal with anybody’s bullshit right now, he was on the verge of snapping and that was a bad combo for him in jail. Instead, he was waiting for Julian, who was meeting with an officer about some court shit, Ricky hadn’t been fully paying attention. They had given him his prison jumpsuit and directed him to the cellblock before he could blink. Now he was staring at the graffitied cement wall wondering why things went so wrong whenever they tried to do something.

He heard footsteps approaching, but didn’t lift his head.

“Alright, you're bunking in here” the guard said holding out a thin blanket.

Julian took it, ice clinking in his glass. “Thank you.”

“Night Julian, night Ricky.” the guard turned walking back down the hall, leaving them alone. 

“Hey, Ricky” Julian walked into the cell, laying his blanket on the cot, drink clinking in his hand. Ricky laid still, thinking he could pretend to be asleep. As Julian leaned towards the bunk bed the familiar scent of aftershave and rum hit Ricky’s nose, it smelled like home.

Julian leaned in close, head level with Ricky’s back because of the bunk beds “You gonna talk to me, Rick?” 

Ricky looked at the small flower drawing on the brick, he traced it with his finger “Why don’t you go talk to Randy?”

“Randy? Why would I talk to him?” 

"I don't know Julian, you fucking tell me." Ricky said gruffly still refusing to turn over. 

“Ricky, can you look at me?” 

Ricky pulled the blanket tighter around him “Nope.”

Sighing Julian ran a hand over his face “Rick, c’mon” 

“No, Julian.” 

“Please, Ricky, don’t do this to me” Julian placed a hand gently on Ricky's shoulder

Ricky was already turning over at Julians' please.

Looking into Julians' shining blue eyes, Ricky swallowed “Hey.”

“Ricky, nothing was going on between me and Randy, I swear.”

“Yeah?” Ricky propped up his head on his hand. “What was with the whole love confession to Lahey earlier too?”

“I told you, Ricky, I just said that so we could get back to the park!”

“Yeah and then you go and chase him up to the roof, Julian!”

“Rick, he was gonna jump. I couldn’t just leave!”

“I would have.” Ricky muttered under his breath. 

“Ricky…” Julian warned. 

“If nothing was going on between you and Randy,” Ricky swung his legs down so his feet were dangling off the side of the bunk bed “Then where did all those rumours in the park come from Julian? Huh?”

Julian leaned against the bunk “You know how rumours start Ricky, he needed a place to stay and I offered-only if he was working for me”

“Heard that one before.” Ricky muttered.

Julian frowned. “Randy told Lahey we were dating to make him jealous. That's all it was Rick. I promise.” 

“Jealous?” Ricky repeated.

“Yes Ricky, he did it to make him jealous, nothing actually happened.”

Ricky scratched at his beard, _that did_ go along with what Randy had said in the van. “Do you think it worked?”

“What worked?”

“The whole Lahey being jealous thing.”

Julian raised an eyebrow up at Ricky. “yeah, I think it _definitely_ worked.” 

“And-and you promise nothing happened?” Ricky asked quietly looking down at his hands. Julian knew he was most vulnerable at that question, he couldn’t count the number of times Lucy had cheated on Ricky with two hands, let alone one.

“Hey, look at me Ricky” Julian pressed between Ricky's legs leaning against his thighs and looking up at up into deep blue concerned eyes “I promise you, Ricky, nothing happened, okay?” _I wouldn’t do that to you_ went unsaid but Ricky somehow knew what Julian was trying to say.

"Promise?” Ricky asked holding out his pinky. “Promise.” Julian wrapped his own pinky around Rickys' giving a slight shake. 

"So how was the court shit?” Ricky asked changing the subject, making grabby hands at Julian's glass.

Julian breathed out a sigh of relief, letting Ricky take a few sips from his drink. Jail was already unpleasant enough, even if they were only in there for two weeks. it would be a whole lot easier to deal with now that Ricky wasn't upset with him. 

"a bunch of bullshit, but it's all taken care of."

Ricky nodded. "You wanna go to the party in cellblock B?" he asked quietly, still not really wanting to go. 

Julian lightly peeled Ricky's fingers from his glass, taking it back before Ricky drank it all. 

He smiled at Ricky, reaching up to run his fingers through Ricky's hair, Ricky melted into the touch.

"No, Ricky, I'd rather stay right here." 

**_~Fin~_ **


	2. Baby, You're the Only One (Bonus Chapter!)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian could promise Ricky all the things in the world but Ricky would still have a hard time believing him. Words didn't always make sense for the guy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a comment asking for a part two and I thought I'd deliver. (This one's for you SorayaTPB!) 
> 
> basically, this is just more feelings and then smut hahaha 
> 
> (tags were updated to reflect this chapter)
> 
> enjoy!

Ricky slid off the top of the bunk bed, feet dropping to the floor. 

"Come over here, yeah?" Julian asked, sitting down on the bed and patting the spot beside him. 

"Are you sure?" Ricky asked, glancing around. 

One of the shittiest parts about jail (amongst many other things) was that they couldn't really touch each other. They usually weren't overly affectionate in public anyway, preferring the privacy of Julian's trailer ( _or the backseat of the shitmobile if no one else was around_ ) but being locked in a small room together, days on end, was hard. Not wanting to draw attention to themselves from the other inmates, their relationship became strained on stolen touches when no one else was looking. When the lights went out it was easier to hide, there was always some type of noise or moaning amongst the inmates but with the darkness, you couldn't pinpoint where it was coming from. 

"Everyone's at the party right?" 

"Yeah, even Bub's went down, he was gonna wait for yah but I told him to go ahead, he went with _Randy._ " Ricky said pronouncing Randy's name like it was gum stuck to the bottom of his shoe. 

That was all Julian needed to know Ricky was still hurt. 

"We're fine then, c'mere you goof." Julian patted the spot beside him again. 

Ricky clambered over Julian's legs, a small smile on his face, laying down beside him so he was flush with the wall. It was a tight squeeze considering the bunks were single beds, but Julian wrapped an arm under Ricky, pulling him closer, making a little bit more room for them. He threw the scratchy prison blanket over the both of them and started tracing circles with his free hand against Ricky's arm, leaning his head against him. 

Ricky relaxed into the touch, stress melting away as he snuggled closer to Julian. It was the best he'd felt since this morning when he found out he hadn't passed Grade 12. Sighing, he let Julian's touch ground him as he thought of all the shit that went down today. 

Julian had promised him nothing happened, and Ricky _did_ believe him. _However,_ Ricky also believed he wasn't good enough for Julian, and that it was only going to be a matter of time before Julian left him for someone much smarter and better looking, like Swayze or something. 

Julian took a sip from his drink, worried about Ricky's silence. It was unusual for him to say nothing, a silent Ricky was usually a ticking time bomb. 

"Ricky?" 

"Yeah?"

"You alright?"

"Yeah."

Julian frowned, knowing Ricky was lying, Julian had a sneaking suspicion about what was wrong but was unsure about how to ask without bringing up the Lahey/Randy thing again.

Ricky drummed his fingers along Julian's bicep. "My brain compartments and departments are saying a bunch of fucked up shit in my head, that's all." He said quietly.

"Like what?"

Ricky turned, rolling so his head was mostly pressed against Julian’s chest. 

“Thaturegonnaleavemeforswayze." He mumbled. 

"What?"

Ricky lifted his head. "I can't compete with Swayze, Julian."

Julian bristled at the mention of Swayze, always a sensitive topic for him, he wondered why the fuck Ricky was bringing him up. 

"What are you talking about?"

"You're gonna leave me, Julian, isn't it obviously?"

"Ricky, what are you talking about?"

Ricky looked up at Julian. "C'mon Julian, you're the smartly one, not me. I know I'm stupid, I didn’t pass Grade 12.-"

"Ricky, I told you paper doesn't matter-"

"-I know it doesn't matter to me Julian, but it matters to yous, right? Everyone you've ever been with has been this great big smarts person, and what am I?"

"Ricky-"

"No, Julian, you asks what the fuck was wrong, that's what my brain compartments are saying. You're gonna leave me cuz I’m fucking stupid. and I'm not nice looking like Swayze is."

Julian rolled his eyes at the mention of Swayze again, "Ricky, I don't want to be with anyone but you."

"Til you leave." Ricky mumbled under his breath. 

Julian inwardly sighed, this wasn't the first argument they had like this, and it definitely wouldn't be the last. Lucy cheating multiple times had done a number on Ricky, and Julian was still trying to repair the damage.

Julian could promise Ricky all the things in the world but Ricky would still have a hard time believing him. Words didn't always make sense for the guy. 

Julian checked over his shoulder one more time, setting his glass down on the concrete floor, ice clinking.

He ran his fingers through Ricky's hair. "I'm not going anywhere any time soon Ricky. don't tell me you’ve forgotten we've been attached at the hip since we've been five? Huh? Where would I be without you?"

"Somewheres betters probablys." Ricky mumbled.

Julian placed a hand at Ricky's chin, tilting it up so he was looking at him. Sad blue eyes stared back. 

"No, I'd be absolutely downright miserable, Ricky. Why do you think my relationships never lasted?"

"Because you went back to jail?" Ricky said, looking confused. 

"No. Because they weren't _you."_

Ricky's eyebrows softened, small blush spreading across his cheeks.

Julian pulled him in for a kiss. Running his thumb along Ricky's jaw. He pulled his head back. "I want You, Ricky. I've only ever wanted you. Not Randy, not Lahey, not even Swayze, could pull me apart from you."

Ricky blushed deeper. 

"I don't care if you don't have your Grade 12, Ricky. I wouldn't care if you didn't have your Grade fucking 6. I care about you, okay?"

Ricky nodded, feeling love bloom deep in his chest. 

"and you are attractive to me Ricky, I don't know what you're talking about. If we were back at the park right now? I'd prove how much you turn me on."

"yeah?" Ricky asked, curious. "How?" 

Julian shifted, moving so he was laying on his side, he snaked his hand down Ricky's pants. Hand hovering over his fabric-covered cock. 

"Do you really want to know?" Julian asked smirking.

Ricky's breath hitched "yeah, yeah please, Jules." 

"First, We'd get back to the trailer, then I'd get you to strip naked for me, you'd like that though. You always like being good for me." Julian whispered hotly into Ricky's ear. 

Ricky squeezed his eyes shut nodding as Julian rubbed a hand over his briefs. 

"Then, I'd tie you up. Hands behind your back so I could face fuck you." 

Ricky let out a low whine as Julian's thumb slipped under the waistband of his boxers. 

"I'd push you down the floor so you were on your knees, shove my cock in your throat. You'd like that wouldn't you?"

Ricky mewled, starting to breathe heavily. 

"After a few minutes I'd pull you off, your face would be full of drool and fucked, your eyes all loopy. Drunk on the taste of my dick."

Ricky's breath hitched as Julian wrapped a hand around his cock, running his thumb over the slit. 

"Then I'd pull you up off your feet, kiss you for a second before telling you to go bend over the couch. And you would, you'd stick your ass out up high in the air because you know that's how I want you, and you love to please me."

Ricky's breaths were getting shorter as Julian expertly palmed Ricky's cock.

"And I'd take you, just like that, bent over the couch, hands tied behind your back. You'd love it as I fucked you, _hard_."

Ricky cried out, the combo of Julian's dirty talk and expert hand becoming too much. 

"You've got to be a little quieter Ricky, c'mon and be good for me." Julian warned, pressing his lips to Ricky's temple. 

Ricky nodded, eyes still squeezed shut as he pressed his head into Julian's chest trying to quiet his moans. 

Julian debated about sucking a hickey into Ricky's neck but decided against it, breathing hot air against his neck instead. 

Hickeys, while in jail, drew too much attention. They had made that mistake once before, the other inmates pestering Ricky about where they had come from, a slur was said and a fight broke out, causing Ricky to end up in solitary confinement for a week. It would be easier to wait, even if they were only going to be in there for two weeks. Julian would just have to make up for it when they got back to the park. 

"You'd look so amazing strung out like that Ricky, you look amazing now." Julian stroked Ricky’s cock harder loving the small sounds Ricky made, fully enjoying watching Ricky burying himself into Julian's prison garb to try and keep quiet. 

"Swayze has nothing on you, Ricky, he couldn't hold a candle against you. You're _mine_." Julian said possessively, pumping one last time, as Ricky came moaning into Julian's chest. Mess collecting in his boxers. 

Ricky breathed heavily, relaxing heavily and slumping against Julian. Julian ruffled his hair before standing up and going to wash his hands. 

"Man." 

"Hmm?" Julian said looking up from the basin sink. 

"I can't wait to go back to the park." Ricky smiled dopily at him, eyes full of love. 

"Two weeks. We've got this." Julian smiled back. 

_~FIN~_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow my [TPB Sideblog!](https://zestymordant.tumblr.com/)
> 
> I know it's kinda short but I've got a longer fic I've been working on (Can't wait to start posting that one!) 
> 
> leave a kudos/comment if ya want! I always appreciate it <3

**Author's Note:**

> Follow my [TPB Sideblog!](https://zestymordant.tumblr.com/)
> 
> (My main [Blog](https://kryptoniterebel.tumblr.com/) if anyones interested!) 
> 
> i know this was kinda short, but hope y'all enjoyed it nevertheless! Im always a slut for jealous Ricky lmao 
> 
> leave a kudos/ or a comment if ya want! it's always appreciated!


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